A week and a half has gone by since we completed the AT. We spent the first two days in a remote cabin in Maine, then drove straight through back home to Michigan. Once in Grand Rapids, we took a nap, showered, and then True Courage (bang!) and I immediately headed up north to Traverse City for a friends’ bachelorette party. We returned late the next day. Then things went downhill and my body started to reject me. I was nauseous and the muscles in my back were incredibly tense causing headaches. My blood sugar has been all over the place. Being in large crowds make me anxious. Certain songs take me back to moments on the trail and I’ll start to tear up a bit. I connected with Wonder Woman who said they were experiencing similar things; anxiety, sick symptoms, etc. She wrote:

 

“We literally go from life at 2 miles per hour to 100. I’m just trying to remember to breathe. Take reality slow if you can.”

 

So I am. I’ve essentially holed myself up in my sister’s home and shut out the world. I know I will have to reintegrate fully eventually. First, I really just want to sleep and see family (in no particular order). I know the world isn’t a big scary place. We’ve operated in it some while we’ve been gone. It’s just always been followed up by returning to the serenity of the woods.

 

As we move forward, Warthog and I are trying to be intentional to make being outdoors a priority. We will find a healthy balance, I’m sure. Until then, we will focus on catching up with loved ones and reorganizing our lives back home. Just like after a deployment, there’s a lot of work to settling back in. It’s good for us. It gives us a mission, our “mileage” to meet each day.

I’m feeling better now. I’ve been more excited about going out. Although, if I’m honest, I have no desire to wash my hair as often as normal life would like you to. That part is still stuck on trail time. I’ll work on that. I also wasn’t expecting to be overwhelmed at the countless options for putting together an outfit. Holy cow that’s a lot of choices! I’ve been too used to wearing the same few clothes for the last six months. This is too much.

 

I write as if I’m entirely overwhelmed, but really, I’m excited about being home. I am. Warthog and I would often find ourselves bragging about our city. Grand Rapids is an incredible place and I’m not sure there’s any other area that I’d rather be in. We will begin to start visiting our favorite spots in the city. Until then, we want to enjoy just being with family and the people that we love. We have all waited a long time to be together. Hand down, this has been my favorite part about coming home. Well… that and seeing my cat, Mr. Fuzz. And sleeping in.

 

That’s been cool too.

 

-ansel