It’s a normal town zero day; wake up, breakfast, zone out for a bit, recharge (literally) by plugging in your electronics, do laundry, resupply food, catch up on journaling and photos, eat some more. The only difference, this is our last one for the trail. What?! It’s so unreal yet!
After our huge Shaw’s Hostel breakfast of eggs, potatoes, bacon, and unlimited blueberry pancakes, we started on all of the normal chores of our day off. I wore a ridiculous outfit of green checkered soccer shorts, a pink t-shirt, and a red striped flannel shirt all day. They were loaner clothes and at 8p last night were the best things I could find. I want to say I’m a bit embarrassed that I spent all day in them, but I’d be lying. I even walked into town (a word that loosely describes the four buildings that make up the main street) in this getup to the visitors center there to get information on Baxter State Park. I walked by a group of older men dressed up in their Sunday best. I wondered if they knew what I was or if I just looked straight up homeless. I didn’t want to put on my own clothes so I could get one more day of freshness out of them while on the trail. It made sense to me. Plus, cotton feels fantastic.
When I got back we moved from a tent in the yard to a room in the house. The four of us were sharing a private room. It had two double beds and a single. I was so glad for a place to get away from the noise of people and the heat of the day. The room has three big, old windows that two of us could easily fit through. They let in fresh, cool air. The two ceiling fans feel like luxury. I’m so glad we got this bit of peace to balance our minds before heading out for last week.
There’s a lot more planning and coordinating that happened today than normal. We have a six day push after this to get through the 100 mile wilderness. At the end of that is Baxter State Park, Katahdin, and our families. We need to make sure that everyone is set on the plans, knows what they need to bring, and no one has any questions. We can’t guarantee we’ll be able to contact them between now and Baxter – a crazy sentence to write out. As I do, I feel my stomach knotting up. It’s surreal. The end is in sight. I’m not sure I’m ready. My body is ready, but I’m not sure I emotionally am. I’m obviously ready to see loved ones. I just don’t think that I’ve truly processed the trail and how these last six months will effect our normal lives. That was probably something I was supposed to think about while out here, right? I expect, though, that I can’t really know the answer to that until I am back in normal life. One of the biggest things I’ve learned on the AT so far is to not worry so much, all will be okay, all will naturally progress as it needs to. I won’t force or try to predict any feelings, processes, or thoughts, I’ll let them come as they will and I’ll face them as they do. I suspect it may even be years from now before I fully realize how much this trail has impacted our lives. I’m okay with that. Like the 2,190.3 miles spanning fourteen states that make up the Appalachian Trail, some things can’t be rushed.
-ansel